[Jackal P.I.]

I might have occasionally dabbled into several other people's horror threads, but the truth is horror is easily one of my weakest genres. I get scared far too easily and the sad truth is that up till high school that I got grossed out by the sight of blood. My friends have made fun of me for jumping in the middle of horror movies or shielding my eyes during the scariest or grossest part. So I am overcoming my fear with hopefully the help of you guys.

My resources are the Internet (both YouTube and NetFlix) and cable TV (I have several channels including AMC, FMC, TCM, Chiller and Sleuth to choose from). I also have a couple of DVD rental options.

Thanks to a couple of friends, I can claim I have seen this much:

All the Friday the 13ths, excepting the 2009 remake. All the Halloweens, except 3 (which will be one of my first reviews since I ended up owning it somehow) and the Rob Zombie pictures. All the Screams. All the Saws excepting 6 and the upcoming "finale". All the Nightmare on Elm Streets excepting the 2010 remake. The original and remake of Psycho. End of the Line. Blair Witch Project 1-2. Student Bodies (horse head bookends). Cutting Class (I particularly like the scenario that did in the math teacher, putting it in the form of a math problem). Hatchet .
Stepfather 1-3, except the remake.
This is a small sample of what I've seen. Others are not listed.

Thus, I propose to watch horror films that will prepare me to not be so scared anymore. Obviously I've timed it with the Halloween holiday, but I'll continue until I'm done.

The list so far includes (will work on linking reviews to this page):
Season 1
Stage Fright (YT) Page 1 Good
Blackwoods: Page 1 Avoid
Suspira Page 2 OK/Good
Dance of the Dead: Page 2 Good
Rise: Blood Hunter: Page 2 Weak
Return of the Living Dead: Page 2 Good
Dracula (31) Page 2 Excellent
Terror Train Page 3 OK/Good
Dog Soldiers Page 3 OK
BR: Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss Page 3 Weak
Kill Theory Page 3 OK
The Final Destination Page 3 Weak/OK
Blood: The Last Vampire Page 3 OK/Good
Prom Night Page 3 and 4 OK/Good
BR: The Source/Surge Page 3 Weak
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane Page 3 OK
Splinter Page 3 Good/Excellent
Little Shop of Horrors (1960s) Page 4 Good
Left in Darkness Page 4 Good
Homicidal Page 4 Good
The Secret Page 4 Weak
The Reaping Page 4 Avoid/Weak
28 Days Later Page 4 Good/Excellent
Phantasm Page 4 OK
Stuck Page 4 Good/Excellent
Brain That Wouldn't Die Page 4 OK
Sweeney Todd Page 4 OK/Good
I Know Who Killed Me Page 4 Weak/OK
Trick R Treat Page 4 Good/Excellent
Saw 6 Page 5 Weak/OK
Paranormal Activity Page 5 OK
Let the Right One In Page 5 Good
Bela Lugosi and the Brooklyn Gorilla Page 5 Weak
Devil Page 5 OK
The House of the Devil Page 6 Good
Saw 3D Page 6 Avoid/Weak
Against the Dark Page 6 Weak
Thr3e Page 6 Epic Fail
Horror of Party Beach Page 7 Avoid/Weak
The Devil's Hand Page 7 Weak
Dementia 13 Page 7 Weak/OK
Santa's Slay Page 7 Good
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch Page 7 Avoid
Monster Maker Page 7 Weak
Frauds Page 7 Good
Night Fright Page 7 Weak/OK
Attack of the the Eye Creatures Page 7 Avoid/Weak
They Came from Beyond Space Page 7 Weak/OK
The Bat Page 8 Good
Rec Page 8 Good/Excellent
Zombieland Page 8 Good/Excellent
The Room Page 8 OK
The Task Page 9 OK/Good
Insidious Page 9 Weak/OK
Fright Night 3D Page 9 Good
The Roommate Page 9 Epic Fail
The Thing (82) Page 10 Excellent
Oldboy Page 10 Good
HauntedWeen 2011
Scream 4 Page 11 Weak/OK
The Mist Page 11 Good/Excellent
White Zombie Page 11 Good
Phantasm 2 Page 11 OK/Good
Priest in 3D Page 12 Weak
9 Dead Page 12 OK
BR: Rocky Horror Picture Show Page 14 Good/Excellent
The Fog (80s) Page 14 Good
Exte: Hair Extensions Page 14 OK/Good
Hauntedween 2011 Ends
Boot Camp Page 15 Good
Black Swan Page 15 Good/Excellent
Birdemic: Shock and Terror Page 16 Weak

Split Time/Awards Show Page 17

Split 2: The Keith David Memorial Split

American Werewolf in London Page 18 Good/Excellent
Grindhouse Page 18 Good/Excellent
HauntedWeen Page 18 Weak
My Bloody Valentine 3D Page 18 Weak/OK
Red State Page 18 Good/Excellent
Teen Zombies Page 18 Weak
Eegah Page 19 Weak/Avoid
The Signal Page 19 Good/Excellent
Heartless Page 19 OK
House (2007) Page 20 Avoid
Attack the Block Page 20 Excellent
Transylmania Page 20 Epic Fail
How to Be a Serial Killer Page 20 Weak
Prom Night (2008) Page 20 Weak
April Fools Day (2008) Page 20 OK/Good
Tamara Page 21 Good
Troll Hunter Page 21 Good
Retreat Page 21 Excellent
Bonnie and Clyde vs. Dracula Page 21 Weak/Avoid
The Rite Page 21 Weak
Alucarda Page 22 Good
Hell is Full Page 22 Weak
The Skin I Live In Page 22 Good/Excellent

HauntedWeen 2: Dead Harder
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1970s) Page 23 Good/Excellent
Frankenstein (1931) Page 24 Excellent
Cabin in the Woods Page 24 Excellent
Freaks Page 24 Good/Excellent
Incubus Page 25 Weak
Triangle Page 25 Excellent
House on Haunted Hill Page 25 Good/Excellent
Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) Page 25 OK/Good
Slither Page 26 OK/Good
Home Sweet Home Page 26 Weak/OK
I Spit on Your Grave 1979 Page 26 Epic Fail
The Wolf Man (1930s) Page 26 OK/Good
The Host Page 26 Good/Excellent
Lake Mungo Page 26 Good/Excellent
Vampire Circus Page 27 Good
Pin Page 27 Good/Excellent
Hauntedween 2 Ends
Black Christmas Page 27 Good/Excellent
Rare Exports Page 27 Good/Excellent
Christmas with a Capital C Page 28 Epic Fail
April Fools (2007) Page 28 Avoid
Snowtown Murders Page 28 Weak
The Innkeepers Page 28 OK
The Road (2012) Page 29 OK/Good
Zombie Town Page 30 Weak
Monster Brawl Page 30 Weak
The Darkest Hour Page 30 OK
Case 39 Page 30 Weak/OK
April Fool's Day (1986) Page 30 Excellent
My Bloody Valentine (1981) Page 30 OK/Good
Paranormal Activity 2 Page 30 Weak
I Bury the Living Page 31 OK
Miami Connection Page 31 OK/Good
The Devil's Carnival Page 31 Weak
Season of the Witch Page 31 Weak
Sleepaway Camp Page 31 Good

For those wondering, my rating system:
Excellent (see this ASAP)
Good/Excellent (very good)
Good (worth the time to see)
OK/Good (decent)
OK (passable, depending on subject matter might be worth a view)
Weak/OK (just below average)
Weak (It's safe to skip this one)
Weak/Avoid (step above sucking)
Avoid (pretty much follow what this one says)
Epic Fail (special category to award film that is complete in its ineptitude.)

[Captain Dills]

Well...count me in. I claim to be a huge fan of Horror even thought I haven't seen a ton of it.

[Dead and Messed Up]

One thing that can also warm you up to horror movies is watching older ones and working your way up to modern ones. Classics like Frankenstein and Dr. Caligari don't scare like they used to, but they're still great films, and you'll start to see their influence everywhere.

Also, take Alphabet Killer off your list. The movie sucked balls, and you really shouldn't waste two hours of your life on it.

[Jackal P.I.]

Thanks, DAMU. I'll move it down the list (most of the films I have listed were Instant Views).

[commonyoshi]

I'd say The Thing (Carpenter) and Orphan (2009) are my favorite horror movies.
Bubba Ho-tep is a great horror/comedy. Mostly comedy though. Put the Evil Dead series on your radar as well.
And the best part of The Sixth Sense isn't its horror elements, but it's a great movie.

[Jonzz]

I might have missed it but is REC on the list? That's a spooky one.

[Jackal P.I.]

no, but I'll be sure to put REC on there.

As for the Evil Dead movies, one was alright but two was good. Never got around to seeing Army of Darkness though.

[morgue anna]

If you're grossed out by blood/gore, there's lots of great horror movies that rely on suspense and what you don't see to scare you.

One of the most effective is a movie on netflix instant right now called Session 9. I'm sure a lot of people here will recommend this to you as well, it's an awesome horror movie.

[Hardy Boy]

A lot of awful horror flicks on that list.

[zpt4x]

A good varied list you got there. Is the killer in a supermarket movie you are talking about Intruder? My only suggestion would be taking off Dead Snow. It sucks. Well some people like it, but I didn't.

[The Doctor]

You're gonna want to skip Paranormal Entity and anything else produced by The Asylum. They make low budget knock-offs of popular genre movies with deceptively similar titles, like Transmorphers or Snakes on a Train. They are generally a waste of time. Save yourself the boredom.

I'd like to recommend adding some of David Cronenberg's horror films to your list. Try his more accessible work like The Fly (it's been on FMC a lot lately) or The Dead Zone to start.

[Bronco67]

Originally Posted by Jonzz

I might have missed it but is REC on the list? That's a spooky one.

REC is great...and despite kneejerking over US remakes, the American version "Quaratine" isn't too bad either.(edit -- oops saw Quarantine on your list) Honestly, if you've seen Quarantine, then your life won't be that empty if you miss REC. Both versions have an amazing central performance.

I'll add Triangle and The Descent.

[Juss]

Not a whole lot of J-Horror there? Ringu, maybe?

Also, The Descent.

[Juss]

Originally Posted by Bronco67

I'll add Triangle and The Descent.

Oh, I can't read. Triangle was actually a nice surprise, I enjoyed that.

[The DP from 20000 Fathoms]

Needs more monster movies.

King Kong (original)
Frankenstein (original)
Dracula (original)
THEM!
Godzilla (original)
CHUD (one of my personal favorites)

I'm a sucker for pretty much any giant monster movie from the 50's and 60's.


Also some GOOD ghost movies:
Poltergeist
The Haunting (original)
Ghost Story
The Amityville Horror (original)
The Fog (original)

[SuperJuice]

Halloween 3 is goofy fun.

Take of Paranormal Entity and replace it with The Entity. Return of the Living Dead 2 is a waste of time. III is better but there's a million other flicks like Altered that I'd see instead.

[Question...]

Originally Posted by SuperJuice

Halloween 3 is goofy fun.

Take of Paranormal Entity and replace it with The Entity. Return of the Living Dead 2 is a waste of time. III is better but there's a million other flicks like Altered that I'd see instead.

Great save, Juice.

Also, 28 days later and Dog Soldiers for some spice and fun.

[The Doctor]

Originally Posted by SuperJuice

Return of the Living Dead 2 is a waste of time. III is better but there's a million other flicks like Altered that I'd see instead.

ROTLD III is one of my guilty pleasures.

Sure, it's cheesy. But it does have a hot young Melinda Clarke.

[Rumpled 4 Skin]

Take Quarantine off and replace it with the original movie [Rec]

[Rumpled 4 Skin]

I just watched Below (2002) it was pretty spooky stick that on your list

And if you really wanna wet your bed... add The Changeling (1980), Ghost Story (1981) and Session 9 (2001).

[Jackal P.I.]

Originally Posted by morgue anna

One of the most effective is a movie on netflix instant right now called Session 9.

I've seen it (as a fan of Brendan's I had to watch it) and I thought it was alright. Nothing special, though.

That supermarket thriller might well be Intruder, not 100% sure but it was in one of your threads and if I recall correctly you raved about it.

I think that it's safe to take Paranormal Entity off the list, it kinda looks like a cheap knockoff of Paranormal Activity. Also, say good by to the Return of the Living Dead 2. I'll just wait out for the original.

I will add The Fly, Triangle, The Dead Zone, The Eye (Japanese original), Dracula (original), CHUD, Ghost Story, 28 Days Later (I got this on tape), Dog Soldiers, Entity, and the Changeling (1980).

Saw the Poltergeist trilogy, but only liked 1. In the third, I fell asleep one time counting all the times a character shouted out Carol Ann (lost track in the triple digits). I DID like The Descent. Watching strong women get through a situation without breaking down in tears waiting for a man to save them was different and cool. And having seen the Amityville Horror, I can honestly say I'd rather watch the remake again. Not a fan of James Brolin's acting skills.

Oh, and just got Chiller this afternoon and will include various horror films on the list from there as well. My next post will cover the first 5 films I intend to see.

[Rumpled 4 Skin]

Dont forget to swap Quarantine with Rec

[Jackal P.I.]

I have the game plan. Here are the first five films I will be watching:

Stage Fright
Suspira
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
9 Dead
The Cabinet of Dr. Caliguri

Will have reviews of these films as I see them, so BEVARE!

[Bronco67]

Originally Posted by Rumpled 4 Skin

Dont forget to swap Quarantine with Rec

Quarantine is on right now...I was just watching the climax. Really, what is so much better about the original, other than the fact that its original? The American version basically used the Spanish version as blueprint and came up with same movie. There's some decent natural acting and setup at the firehouse beforehand, some excellent tension building near the middle and an all out frenzied nightmare screamfest for the last 20 minutes -- with some good camera work and well-done special effects.

---and Jennifer Carpenter seems as if she's actually scared out her friggin mind.

What can you really point out about the original that's so superior? Being Spanish/not American doesn't count.

I think it was labeled as bad before it was even released, just because its the "American" remake. Granted, most of the time those suck, but I think they hit the mark with it. I also know a few people who are the types to never come across a movie like REC, and they asked me if I had seen Quarantine-- and that they loved it.

[Jackal P.I.]

Almost halfway through with Stage Fright. Review coming shortly, then I'll start Suspira before bed tonight.

[Hardy Boy]

Originally Posted by Bronco67

Quarantine is on right now...I was just watching the climax. Really, what is so much better about the original, other than the fact that its original? The American version basically used the Spanish version as blueprint and came up with same movie. There's some decent natural acting and setup at the firehouse beforehand, some excellent tension building near the middle and an all out frenzied nightmare screamfest for the last 20 minutes -- with some good camera work and well-done special effects.

---and Jennifer Carpenter seems as if she's actually scared out her friggin mind.

What can you really point out about the original that's so superior? Being Spanish/not American doesn't count.

I think it was labeled as bad before it was even released, just because its the "American" remake. Granted, most of the time those suck, but I think they hit the mark with it. I also know a few people who are the types to never come across a movie like REC, and they asked me if I had seen Quarantine-- and that they loved it.

Let's see. The ending is butchered in the remake? And the original is far scarier and faster paced. Quarantine wasn't TERRIBLE, it was just pretty boring.

[Jackal P.I.]

Just seen Stage Fright...here are my thoughts:

The film opens as a hooker walks down a dark alley with annoying cat. She pauses long enough by an opening to get choked...

Only to find out we are watching a musical. Probably the worst musical since this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9sTxEuuyVU

I'm sorry but it cracked me up something fierce. Watching a guy in an owl head and a suit dance was amusing. But apparently, director guy (a poor man's Simon Cowell) was enraged by what he seen. One week to rehearsals and we suck. Kinda makes Carrie: The Musical look like The Lion King.

Moving on. We meet the cannon fodder---er the acting/dance troupe and they're nothing special. No major characterization other than director being a jerk, the "hooker" being sweet, and the producer (poor man's Bob Hoskins) being sleazy. The film gets off to a rough start as it starts to fail the logic test (Doctors in a mental hospital know how to treat sprained ankles? It takes a full 2 minutes to turn off the lights in a car? You have a dangerous mental inmate and virtually no security until it's convenient?)

Everything changes around the 38 minute mark. Let me set this up. After finding the body of the "hooker's" friend, the director gives everybody 10 minutes to compose themselves or mourn because the play must go on.

Select the black box below with your cursor to view the spoiler text

They rehearse this scene where the guy in the owl head and suit is supposed to kill this one girl...but the guy in the Owl head and suit is actually the mental hospital escapee who doesn't take too kindly into being made the subject of the musical (director's idea). The jerkish director yells at the guy to get on with it. So the killer obliges by furnishing a knife and stabbing her to the shock of everyone including me.

At that point, it got serious. By that time, the door is locked and nobody knows where the key is. The tension starts to ratchet up as Soavi shows skill in setting suspense. The survivors smartly choose not to split up and come up with a plan to fight their way out. It doesn't work, but I respect the fact that both the killer and the survivors show intelligence. The visuals are sharp for a horror film and the musical selections mostly add to the cleverness.

Select the black box below with your cursor to view the spoiler text

Didn't care for the music in the final chase between killer and the final girl. Silence would have worked better than that uptempo crap they put in there.

What you get is a film that has some flaws, but is several steps above the typical horror film.

Sex=Death? One (but it was long after the fact)
Drugs or Alcohol? No, sir.
Anybody saying they'll be right back? Main girl towards the end when she forgot something at the crime scene
Killer not dead? Yep.
Times Jumped: 2
Times Covering Eyes: 0

Final Grade: Good

[St. SexySmell]

My fav horror movie is probably 'the st. francisville experiment'. hard to find but watchable in 5 parts on youtube.

kind of a rip off of The Blair Witch Project I found it scarier and better paced.

Black death was really good but more of a thriller.

[Jackal P.I.]

Number 2 on the List, and did I EVER screw up.

Originally planning on seeing Suspira, then I checked the listings and there's this Uwe Boll film I've been meaning to see. I taped it a few months ago as one of those midnight movies, but hadn't gotten around to seeing it yet. So here goes:

The film opens as this guy is preparing on a date with his honey. They are going to meet her parents. So far, so good. Except for the 93 flashbacks that were taking place as the story progesses. Way to kill suspense, Uwe. Apparently the guy (who was in Starship Troopers, not the Omega Code guy or Doogie) had an accident years ago involving a car crash, a dead girl and a tree. He's apparently haunted (look, ma. Flashback #94!), but guessing he served no time.

Anyway, her family is in the Blackwoods, which is called because at night it's too dark to see in the woods. Okay! After sex in a seedy motel ran by Clint Howard, she disappears and he's attacked by a guy with an axe. He gets away and looks for her, as nobody else believes him.

Twist one:Select the black box below with your cursor to view the spoiler text

Ok, she and her family is looking for backwoods, er Blackwoods justice for their dead daughter.

Eventually it leads to a giant chase scene as Patrick Muldoon is running from several guys. He kills them and then Select the black box below with your cursor to view the spoiler text

kills his bestest buddy because he's got several screws loose. Way to be a friend for a guy who drove several hours away during the night to rescue you, you tool.

Then when he's running from the sheriff (Michael Pare alert), here comes another twist:

Select the black box below with your cursor to view the spoiler text

Muldoon was making everything up. The waitress notices that he was talking to himself as he was holding the camera. There was no girlfriend and the family of the little girl he killed moved away several years ago. Made up the trial and chase scene as well. Starting to feel like Mary Steenbergen in Stepbrothers now.

Just as suddenly, the final nail in the coffin was struck: Select the black box below with your cursor to view the spoiler text

Muldoon gets struck by a speeding semi in the middle of a confrontation with Pare. What the Fecking Fick!

Bad job, Uwe. Way to treat me like some errant child with all the intelligence of a baby. I give you 2 middle digits straight up.

Sex=Death Yeah, er no. I'm confused!
Drugs? Alcohol? Red Red Wine leads to one death indirectly here.
Killer not Dead? Not that type of film.
I'll Be Right Back? Nope.
Jumps: 0 Eyes Covered: 0

Blackwoods Grade: Avoid! Not horrible per se, but the twists will piss you off!

[Hanley R.]

Sombre is the only horror film that I care about. Everything else... no thanks.