[blogging sailor]

I know I'm running out of interesting stories, I've already been told I've repeated a few stories. I've deliberately stayed away from my Ft Lauderdale stories because I know I've told them several times. However, I remember one Lauderdale story, I'm pretty sure I didn't tell.

When I first moved to Ft Lauderdale, I stayed at the condo of my sweet older cousin. She is one of the most fantastic people in the world, big bright smile, smart, happy personality. Staying with her was great. She even gave me a temporary job working at her art gallery delivering art out to all of her "gay" clients. I only worked about three hours a day, the rest of the time I was training as a pretty serious 10K runner and cruising around looking for girls. I must of had 10 lovely girlfriends in the six months I was there but the one that took me most by surprise was my cousin's roomate.

She was a very lovely and bright lady and a school teacher by profession. She was about five years older than me (I think I was 23) and she was like another cousin to me; we had a fun, totally platonic relationship. One afternoon, I had been out running and I was really hot, I took a cold shower and plopped down on my bed in a pair of cutoffs. She came into the room, sat on the bed and asked how I was doing. I said fine and she said I looked a little burnt. She went out of the room and came back with some lotion. She rubbed it on my back and then told me to roll over. She rubbed it on my chest and legs and then set the tube on the bed side table. She then laid next to me on one elbow and looked into my face. She started this very confusing conversation about how we were friends but that she was very attracted to me. She added that I would probably think she was a bad person if she kissed me because I knew she had a boyfriend (the guy was a house musician at the Fountainbleu). By this time, I was completely worked up and I told her that I desperately wanted to kiss her. We kissed and made out (only heavy petting) until we heard my cousin come in downstairs and she scurried down the hall to her room.

This continued for days, steamy afternoon makeout sessions with no intercourse with both of us always listening for my cousin to come home. All this time, we all were continuing to go to the Fountainbleu for cocktails and dancing every night. I'm dancing with her on the dance floor while her boyfriend in the band just thinks I'm the kid cousin visiting.

Within a week we were having seriously "nasty" sex everywhere and everytime we could be alone. My cousin came up to me one morning and told me that her roomate confessed to her that she was in love with me and that she was going to break up with her boyfriend. My cousin also said she knew that I was having sex with another friend of her's sister and quite possibly another girl she knew. My cousin asked me in a very serious way "what are you going to do?" I thought for a moment and said to her, I think I'm going to go finish my degree. She said "great idea" in a very firm motherly way. I left in a couple of days and stayed with my cousin in Atlanta until the next quarter began at Auburn.

Hey! Somebody else's turn to tell a steamy story!

[Mr. Alexander]

I masterbate. he he.

[blogging sailor]

I've always been amazed at how my "first time" snuck up on me. I never had actually "done the act" while I was in high school. I had become the master of heavy petting with the prettiest girls in school but when I was in high school, the prettiest and smartest girls always stopped short of penetration.

Enough history. My Freshman year at college was somewhat bleak, I was at an Engineering college and the ratio was 10-1 men to women. I had "made out" almost every weekend with cute townies that came to parties but I was just too nice a guy to "press the issue home", so to speak.

One misty fall evening, I was standing on the porch of a fraternity beer party and I see this cute jewish girl walking over to me. She was the first person I had met at orientation and I had waved to her on campus about four times but everytime she was talking to other people and I never went up to her. She comes up to me on the porch and we start comparing notes about our freshmen year. After some dancing, she asks me if I want to go down to her dorm because they were having a "wine and cheese" party. I agreed and we went to her room instead and started making out right away. Much to my surprise, it escalated very quickly and the next thing we knew we were screwing, she seemed as surprised as me! It was nice but both of us seemed a little inept, however the technique refined itself quite nicely over the course of the night.

In the morning, we were laying in her bed, her roommate had gone next door. She asked me how many times I had done this before and I froze up. I didn't want to admit that it was my first time but I liked her and I really didn't want to lie. I said I don't know...maybe ten? She said "Oh", in a very sad way, and then added, "this was my first".

To this day, I regret being such a stupid chump that I couldn't admit my virginity. We had both lost our virginity the same night and we were never able to share that because I was a nimrod! We never slept together again, I think partly because I felt rotten about my lie.

[Mryett]

I had sex with a living breathing women once.





No! Twice!

[blogging sailor]

Originally Posted by Mryett

I had sex with a living breathing women once.





No! Twice!

Lazy bastard, write it up, give details.

[10^(-5)Newton]

Dude, BS, I didn't even get three sentences into your post. I caught the whiff of a story, and I gotta be honest here, I don't want to hear about your sex life. No-one here wants to hear about your sex life. Are you trying to kill us all or something?

[blogging sailor]

Originally Posted by 10^(-5)Newton

Are you trying to kill us all or something?

Would it be that easy?

[Xenophon]

Originally Posted by 10^(-5)Newton

No-one here wants to hear about your sex life. Are you trying to kill us all or something?

Okay but a lot of people said they did. And this is also for other people's stories.

K CNTINEW.

[10^(-5)Newton]

Originally Posted by Xenophon

Okay but a lot of people said they did. And this is also for other people's stories.

Who said they wanted to hear about BS's sex life? And are they on any kind of medication?

[blogging sailor]

Originally Posted by 10^(-5)Newton

Who said they wanted to hear about BS's sex life? And are they on any kind of medication?

If you don't have a story at least vote in the poll.

[mighty joe moon]

Originally Posted by blogging_sailor

If you don't have a story at least vote in the poll.

heh

[10^(-5)Newton]

Originally Posted by blogging_sailor

Why is Dyne so opposed to hetero sex stories?

I just saw your little poll, no pun intended. For the record, I am not opposed to hetero sex stories. I am opposed to YOUR sex stories.

[Fritolaid]

This one time, I put my dinky in a cup of pudding.

It's was cold and creamy and felt icky.

When I pulled my dinky back out, it looked like it was covered with poop because the pudding was chocolate.

Then I put my dinky on the table and slammed it with a dictionary.

That kind of hurt a little.

Then me and my flattened, poop-colored dinky went to the mall.

I got arrested for indecent exposure and they took me and my dinky to the big house.


It is there that I discovered the exquisite pain of rectal trauma and forgot all about my dinky.

[Mryett]

Originally Posted by blogging_sailor

Lazy bastard, write it up, give details.

We took off our clothes and then I put my ding-dong in her hoo-haa and we wiggled around until I felt funny. Then I got up and put my clothes on and left.
I hope that wasn't too graphic.

[blogging sailor]

Originally Posted by 10^(-5)Newton

I just saw your little poll, no pun intended. For the record, I am not opposed to hetero sex stories. I am opposed to YOUR sex stories.

Relax, you aren't in any of them.

[Fritolaid]

Originally Posted by blogging_sailor

Relax, you aren't in any of them.

Yet.

[mighty joe moon]

Originally Posted by Fritolaid

This one time, I put my dinky in a cup of pudding.

It's was cold and creamy and felt icky.

When I pulled my dinky back out, it looked like it was covered with poop because the pudding was chocolate.

Then I put my dinky on the table and slammed it with a dictionary.

That kind of hurt a little.

Then me and my flattened, poop-colored dinky went to the mall.

I got arrested for indecent exposure and they took me and my dinky to the big house.


It is there that I discovered the exquisite pain of rectal trauma and forgot all about my dinky.

guf-

-faw!

[blogging sailor]

Originally Posted by Fritolaid

This one time, I put my dinky in a cup of pudding.

It's was cold and creamy and felt icky.

When I pulled my dinky back out, it looked like it was covered with poop because the pudding was chocolate.

Then I put my dinky on the table and slammed it with a dictionary.

That kind of hurt a little.

Then me and my flattened, poop-colored dinky went to the mall.

I got arrested for indecent exposure and they took me and my dinky to the big house.


It is there that I discovered the exquisite pain of rectal trauma and forgot all about my dinky.

Ouch, I hear you bro! Attica? Oz?

[Fritolaid]

Originally Posted by mighty joe moon

guf-

-faw!

I see your guffaw and raise you a twitter.

[AlmasyCR]

Originally Posted by blogging_sailor

Relax, you aren't in any of them.

I wonder if anyone here can match your stories.

[Xenophon]

Originally Posted by 10^(-5)Newton

Who said they wanted to hear about BS's sex life? And are they on any kind of medication?

Relish/Rose/EJ

[mighty joe moon]

actually bs's sex stories are the most interesting thing in OT this week.

[Mryett]

god bless the daylight, the sugary smell of springtime
remembering when you were mine
in a still suburban town

when every thursday i'd brave those mountain passes
and you'd skip your early classes
and we'd learn how our bodies worked

god damn the black night with all its foul temptations
i've become what i always hated
when i was with you then

we looked like giants in the back of my grey subcompact
fumbling to make contact
as the others slept inside

and together there
in a shroud of frost, the mountain air
began to pass through every pane of weathered glass
and i held you closer than anyone would ever get

do you remember the JAMC?
and reading aloud from magazines
i don't know about you but i swear on my name they could smell it on me
i've never been too good with secrets
no…

and together there
in a shroud of frost and mountain air
began to pass through every pane of weathered glass
and i held you closer…

[Nkhosi]

Originally Posted by mighty joe moon

actually bs's sex stories are the most interesting thing in OT this week.

Exactly. BS has cemented his position as greatest ever OT poster with a few dirty sex stories and I for one am glad the old sea dog is willing to share his sordid past with us.

[mighty joe moon]

Originally Posted by Nkhosi

Exactly. BS has cemented his position as greatest ever OT poster with a few dirty sex stories and I for one am glad the old sea dog is willing to share his sordid past with us.

i said this week. its been a slow week.

[blogging sailor]

Originally Posted by mighty joe moon

i said this week. its been a slow week.

I agree, its been slow, that's when I'm most likely to begin writing. I feel "a Crease" story comin on, maybe I should quit work early instead.

[mighty joe moon]

Originally Posted by blogging_sailor

I agree, its been slow, that's when I'm most likely to begin writing. I feel "a Crease" story comin on, maybe I should quit work early instead.

for god's sake knock off early. go to a pub, get a draft porter, hit on some waitress or shoot the shit with the bar flies.

you'll thank me later.

[Mryett]

I'd love to tell you my explicit stories but they are not that interesting.
I have not done the following:

1. Had sex with more than one woman at a time
2. Had sex with more than one woman within a months time period
3. Anal
4. Had sex with anything living other than a human female that was of a regular age, had no physical abnormalities, and of full mental capacity.
5. Used toys
6. Had sex with a relative
7. Had sex with two women who were related

I cannot imagine my sex stories being of any interest to anyone here. So starting with a boring story and then adding to that my ability to mangle the English language would provide nothing but frustration for all.

[Xenophon]

You don't have to explain to the board why you're not going to tell everybody your sex stories.

[Pat Bateman]

who the **** is dyne